Please just hear me out on this one. I have no questions to ask, nor do I have any bad feelings of our breakup. I have, however, a message, which I hope you read.
††††††††††† In the past, Iíve burned many bridges, and have said many things, which I regret. Handed back rings, and wrote letters, which ask for no more contact ever. I have used many ways, which I donít agree with to attempt to guilt you into dating me once again. Iíve also threatened about suicide, which I see as my youthful stupidity coming out. I've also learned about myself in other areas. Iíve also learned how I truly messed up in our relationship. How I became critical of you, judging what you did, and wanting to control your expansion. I stopped protecting you from hurt, and I feel I started hurting you myself. In short, I became the enemy. I became everything that you feared, and I canít excuse what I did in life. Regrets are something I canít control, because in hindsight with more intelligence and maturity I can look upon my mistakes and my stupidity and see how I could have changed. But thatís something that I have to live with alone, and I understand that.
††††††††††† I've also learned who I want to be in the future. I strive to be a strong man, mentally able to handle all in his path. I want also to protect my mate, showing her that as long as sheís with me, no harm may come of her. Working hard for my family, and holding what I believe strong. Accepting my soul mate for who she is, what I failed at with you. I find it unfortunate that I couldnít show you this. I aspired to do so in my lifetime. But in the future I vow to the world to keep my promises. I also aspire to keep my heart, and not deny it the truth. Even though the truth is painful and discouraging.
††††††††††† At this time I understand that you may not want anything to do with me. Iíve tried just as hard to run away from you, as you me. I remember running in every direction and getting stopped by brick walls. Until I tried to run the opposite way, and got stopped again. I remember the frustration I faced, and imagine you felt the same. I understand what its like when you get contacted by me. I had no intention of pestering you, only to establish communication hoping for a friendship one day. But again, I understand if you donít want that. Itís been a hard path for me, and Iím sure youíve been through the same hard path. Iíve found that I felt better with the idea of you slightly in my life, even though I found out about your boyfriend, and your present happiness in life without me, but thatís whatís important, your happiness. It makes me happy to find you happy. And a smile did appear on my face even if for a moment.
††††††††††† What I do offer you now and forever though is something Iíve offered to you February of last year. In a note I sent to you in the bottle, I promise that I will love you and be there for you, no matter what happens, thatís not going to change, Iíve promised myself as well you that. I have faith in myself and in the processes of god and fate. I promise that if you fall, I will be there. I promise that if you need a shoulder, I have two to offer. I promise that if you need guidance, my psychology degree may come in handy. I promise that if you need a ride, from a bike to an ambulance, u will never have to walk. I promise that if you need a bandage, my emergency medicine certifications may help. Within myself there lives you, which I promise myself to protect, if you ever need. I know that even if we havenít talked for years, and you need me in the future, I will be there for you. With that I just have to say that I still love you and miss you, and hope the best for you in life. Hope the best in whatever endeavor you take, and hope you are always happy with your life.